Beware the Market Samurai.
Goldman Sachs may seem the epitome of capitalist evil, but they are merely the training ground for the Market Samurai. The Market Samurai are the warlords of the true economic system and have absolute control over every aspect of every financial market in the world. They are our true earthly masters and none can defeat them.
The Market Samurai have control over technology undreamt of in the most far out sci-fi novel. They have achieved the Fountain of Youth and they covet this technology to themselves to dominate this earthly realm for all eternity.
Is there anything we can do, you may ask? There is. The truth. The truth can defeat the Market Samurai. The truth and a pure and honest heart is our salvation. Are you up to the task? Or will you wither and bow down to the Market Samurai?